This is a dismal tale of once such individual as myself who one day happened upon a fight with a small but complicated garden chair. I was lounging in my usual relaxed style in my front yard, enjoying the cool morning breeze and the beautiful sun. I was sitting in a rather normal position, head back, feet outstretched onto a neighboring stump when a grand idea passed through my mind. You see, my legs were at this point a wee bit elevated, and the blood that usually flows so thoroughly through them was suddenly leaving them at an alarming rate. To save the very last bit of life in my slowly purpling legs, I decided to simply cross them in my lap. After all, I did happen to have braids coming from my head on that day, and I was feeling quite tribal. Anyway...
This chair that used to be such a dear friend to me very quickly became one of the worst enemies I have ever had in my life. It betrayed me within an instant, and at first I thought I was in the middle of some sort of invisible typhoon. I was whirling about in the air, hardly knowing what had happened, when I found myself in quite a tangle. The chair was on top of me, and my left arm was nowhere to be found.
You see, I was quite mangled, but my hulk-like strength came through for me, and after finding the center of my soul-being, and once again gaining composure, I was able to find my arm and lift myself off the burdened earth, muster enough raw energy to send my leg hurling within the general direction of the demon chair, and I marched back within the safe confines of my sheltered abode.